Better late than nev… Oh…
Lately I’ve been so caught up in my own whirlwind of a life, I haven’t taken the time to “smell the roses”. My attempt at working hard in my career, building a healthy social life, and just overall going with the flow and living life… has me busier than a honey bee. And any free time, consists of chilling, exercising, or catch up on anything I’ve missed throughout the week. Yes, that includes chores…
For those of you that know me, you will probably know that I do have a FB account. However, I do not use it. Why is it it, that you ask? Well for me, I feel that it just does not fit into my life. My Mum would ask, then why keep the account if you do not use it. It just confuses people thinking that I would receive their notification, to which I replied, “well… I would if it weren’t for the fact that I am playing a couple of games that require FB account linked.” Not exactly the best excuse I admit, but it is a valid one.
A few days ago, my Mum reminded me to reply to my FB messages since my Birthday had just passed. Yes, I hadn’t gotten around to it. If I recalled, the last time I opened my FB was probably the same time last year… replying my 2019 birthday wishes. When I had opened up my account, I saw a few blinking unread message red dots. One caught my attention. It was from my Uncle F sent back in January. I stared at the unread message icon, frozen.
You see… my Uncle F. had passed last month. I heard that he had gone away in his sleep, but it was still shocking to have heard the news then. We were quite close, considering he had been the only relative that lived close to where I grew up. I would see him almost every school holiday, when my parents would make the trip to see him and his family. Last month when I heard the news, I was devastated. However, at the time I had been at a joyous event, and I had to try to control my emotions, as not to ruin the mood. During that time, I had put the thought to the back of my mind. Though devastated, there is a time and place. But I guess life got in the way and I didn’t bear to revisit.
After I recovered from my initial shock slightly, an immediate urge beckoned that I click the unread message. It wrote “I hear you have a good gf now.” Right then, a flood of emotions and thoughts raced in my head.
I broke down and cried.
I felt so overwhelmed. I wanted to tell him how I was doing. I wanted to let him know all is well. I also wanted to tell him about her. And yet… well yeah… I will never get the chance. Previously, I had been meaning to catch up with him, after I had gotten past this busy block in my life. I thought the national holidays would be a good time.
I knew that he had came to visit my grandparents a couple months ago. I heard that he had recently been unhappy. Maybe even slightly depressed. I know I may not be his immediate family, but I wonder… if I had made a call to him earlier, maybe it might have made a difference??
Wish I could share happier news. But this is something I need to remind myself. If there is something that needs to be done, that needs to be said. Don’t wait…
May he be at peace…