Random memories resurface…

When I woke up earlier this morning, I couldn’t remember what dream I had… but a lingering thought was just floating there in my mind. At first it was cloudy and unclear, so I plucked it like a feather floating above a stream and waded deeper into the memory. And then there it was, a distant memory which I had sealed off a long time ago.

Back in high school, the kids didn’t celebrate difference. It was all about fitting in. The more “different” you were, the chances were, you were going to be picked on. The only matter was when…
It was there, which I tried to blend in with my other peers as best as I can. Being too smart was frowned upon, too weak, too slow, too nerdy. Having too much interest in something other than cars, sports, and music would immediately ostracize you from what was considered “normal”.
As for me, not being white like the others was like starting a marathon with only one shoe and no socks. I was already a step down from everyone else, and I would still need to work hard just to catch up to their level. This sadly, is what affects NZ’s society. The Tall-Poppy syndrome. Cutting down people who are different to their own majority. 

Anyways, this particular post isn’t about me this time round. There were two other guys that had it far worse than me at the time. And because of that, they drew a lot of heat away from me. One of the guy I shall name C. He had a girl’s name as his first name (Historically, it used to be a unisex name, but in more modern times, it is generally a females name). Regardless, a name is a name. Yet, his personality, his innocence, and his healthy regard for hygiene (not to mention his voice was high-pitched also) were all considered to be quite feminine. He enjoyed singing, playing chess, and knew all the  characters of Pokemon.

Thinking back about it now, it seems rather sad that kids tease and bully other kids all because of differences, because they were not the same as everyone else. I then remembered something about him which was really sad. Yet I never remembered him once complaining about being teased or bullied. One day… he just sat on his bed, and he just cried. A few of us stood at the dormitory doorway wondering what in the world just happened. We were just ignored, and he cried even harder. A few of us went over to see what was wrong, and he pushed us away. He walked up to his wooden pulpwood locker door and pounded really hard three times. *BAM, BAM, BAM* and cried out loud, “FUUUCCCKKKK”. His eyes were wet and puffy from the crying and you can vividly see the hurt that was in his eyes.
He then stormed off away from the rooms, away from everything. We later found out what had actually happened. He had two elder sisters. One of them had called him, and told him that his parents were getting a divorce and that their mother had run off with someone else. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to have an entire family being ripped apart after something like 25 years of marriage.
But it didn’t stop there. The person who ran off with his mother was also female. She finally realised that she was a lesbian and no longer wanted anything to do with her family. I don’t know about you guys, but to me, these kinds of things seemed like the tales that writers fathom up from the unconscious or things you’ll see in dramas and movies. But then again, it can be a possibility.

 The other guy… well, he always had the worst end of the stick. In life… in everything. I don’t know how he is doing now, but the only real positive thing you could say about the guy was that his family had money. He was bad at everything else. He wore glasses so thick, you’d think that they were bulletproof. He had a hunched back, he was not very bright nor well-educated, he was quite disoriented and was never good at any sports. What’s worse, he had halitosis which boarded on extreme. If you were in his class, you could smell him. If you were in a train carriage, you would’ve smelled him. Basically, if you had been within a 10m radius of him, you could smell him and the stench is bad. I will not even try to describe. Just know that it was BAD!!!
You cannot exactly blame him cause he had been trying to cure it. But nothing had worked on him. And just because of all this, he really had gotten a hard time through high school. I wont go into much detail about how he got through so much cr#p. There were just too many occasions. I hope things have gotten better than how it used to be… or even better for the future.

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  1. i like to think that preventing “bullying” is receiving much more attention nowadays than it use to.

    • It’s good to hear that… thanks…

      • yes but the motivation for focusing on preventing ‘bullying’ is usually because its what politicians believe would get them re-voted, not because people believe there needs to be a fundamental shift in the societal values that we current uphold.

        I guess I’m a bit more cynical but I only think what we’re doing now (all the media’s attention on bullying and politicians clamping down on bullying through legislation) is not treating the root cause but the symptoms of an incomplete values education institution… I’m really hoping I’m wrong on this one though

      • I wholeheartedly agree with you right there, but saying that wont change how an entire society and an entire culture to just shift their way of thinking.
        Currently, it may not be an answer… but it’s a start, regardless of whatever the people or the politicians original intentions may be.

      • Maybe the motivation by politicians is to get them revoted, but the education is real. The education to the children, to parents, and to future generations, is very much real. If the bullies/victims themselves know it is wrong, maybe some positive change would come out of it.

  2. Yea it was more for my own stand in how I would bring up my kids to make sure they have that kind of understanding… not bothering to impart that on the rest of the world. Maybe one day haha.

    • Haha, likewise… but I know what you mean. I would try to do the same also…

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