Where is here???

It’s been so long since I’ve taken a good reflection at my life. With the Chinese new year giving me what one would call ‘some breathing space’, I had a good sit down with myself to contemplate how things have been going.  (It didn’t exactly take very long…)

And the verdict…?
Things have really been going fast at an alarming pace. People say, time really flies when you’re having fun. Whilst this may be true, I can’t say I’ve really been having too much fun. It has been interesting to say the least, but things have been difficult and crazily uncoordinated at the same time. Hah, the story to my life in a nut shell.

It feels like days, weeks, months… then a whole entire year just went ziiiip…. and then here I am. (The minutes and the hours seem slow though!) And when I watch and read the news and tabloids I see all these young achievers, typically between the ages of 16-24, achieving marvelous accomplishments and feats. I am enviously in awe. And then I take a look back at myself when I was all those ages… and I think that my heaviest problems was what I should have for lunch that day… or whether I should have made a move on that hot chick. By comparison, I know I’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere… but where?

Most people now would try and look for answers. Answers that allow them to redeem themselves and to show them the right track to walk on ahead. The funny thing is I’m pretty sure of my own answers. That is I need to be more patient; I need to be more humble; and I need to be less lazy. I can honestly say, I am all these already, but I feel that it’s still not enough. And this is where I’m losing out. It is hard. I find it hard to be more patient than I am right now. To be more humble… (this is an oxymoron in itself… lol). And to be less lazy. Saying it even though you really do mean it is still rather cheap. Which is why we all admire Nike’s ‘Just do it!’ very much.

Thinking back makes me reminiscent. I miss many of my friends which I have made back in high school and uni. I think it’s safe to assume that many of them probably don’t even remember me… except for the closer ones… but I know it’s my fault for most of them anyways. For some people, I can just click so well… and others, not so. Is there some kind of formula to be consistent? Or is it like this because of the simple fact that everyone is just different and bond with each other on different levels. Maybe I should I should stop thinking so much and… ‘just do it~

A reflection now and again isn’t bad either though… just gotta try even harder! Add oil~

    • Jackie
    • February 18th, 2013

    Mr Liao, hello!
    Happy year of the snake!

    Hmmm it sounds like you are comparing your life to other young people and wondering where you are at? That usually doesnt help with self esteem, it only makes you over analyse, well this coming from some personal experience. I learn that if you find self motivation and enthusiasm that you will feel empowered and find value in what you do and where you are in life. Does that make sense, or am I babbling? lol. What I meant to say was, from an outsider point of view, I feel you have achieved a whole lot especially where you are right now. In particular in the area of self discovery, reflection and growth in character. You are definitely a more mature and focused person since university, and I really hope you find your true calling one day 🙂

    Please make it a point to come back to Auckland for a visit soon. It would be just great to be able to catchup with you. Take care and keep blogging!

    • Nah, my self esteem isn’t down and i’m not trying to compare myself to the younger generation. It was merely a matter of contrasting myself of then and now… just meaning that I really do admire some of the young peps, they really have guts. I already have self motivation and definitely find value in all things I do and approach for… i would say the last few years…
      If the mood of the reflection did seem down, I was only trying to draw up the seriousness of the issue and how I feel from reflecting from it. Sorry that I don’t have a habit of putting smiley faces at the end of my sentences to indicate the tone of my words, but believe me… the difference between a =) and a =( at the end of my words would generally be quite disparate.
      My true calling is still in its making… to be continued~

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