Archive for August, 2017

Lifting that smile…

Too long have I worn that lazy excuse on my face.
The smile facing outwards towards the onlooking world. That mask that hides any of my inner emotions, the shield that guards against any unwarranted attention. It seems like a lonely way to live, but really it is my only defense against any broken hearts towards people I loved. It’s my only approach against misplacing my utmost trust towards familial friends. Too many times have I been left out in the cold, too many times I’ve been wondering why…

Ever since my high school years, I’ve lived away from home. Because of that, I’ve mostly spent my time with friends and have treated them like family. Actually, thinking back now, more so than my immediate family at the time. I gave them my time, my attention, and sometimes even my own money. You probably know where this story goes, and so like those stories, I was just as gullible. Only being able to learn about the world through one heartbreak or one mistrust at a time. It’s happened so many times, that the reaction has just became a natural habit. So over the years, without letting anybody in, it was difficult trying to make close friends. Simply put, I was just tired. Tired of living this kind of life. Tired of guarding my emotions having tried to piece back the broken pieces like the shattered eggshells sitting in the kitchen bin or that 2000 piece mosaic puzzle that’s still sitting on my table unfinished.

But more recently I had realized something. As they say, to make a cake you’ve gotta break some eggs. It takes trust to get trust in return and if you don’t risk getting hurt, then you wont get the opportunity to meet the very same people that think and feel the same way you would too. And through uncanny circumstance, that is how I gotten closer with YT and Oli as of late. It’s a nice feeling being able to feel that fuzziness of close friends after so long. I am thankful for myself of taking that chance again.

Advertisements

Afternoon at the Mall

My hands reached out towards the power cord hanging on the rack. I looked back up. My friends were browsing some other store next door. So I decided to just continue browsing in the electronic store moving from item to item. Wasn’t long before I lost track of time and my friends were no where to be found.

I ran out and strolled through the different stores looking for my friends. I saw one of them from a reflection off a store upstairs. So I thought, well before I head up to catch up with them, I will just stop over at a cafe to grab a coffee to go. While in line for a coffee, there was an old idealistic lady that was telling some teenage strangers off and giving them an earful.
Young people these days. They have no respect for their elders. Talking away in that gawd awful language and foul mouth. No one respectable would be able to understand…

She continued to grill on them, picking out every stereotypical generalization and berated them while looking down at them with her head tilt slightly back. I wasn’t sure what came over me but I walked over and interrupted her.
I’m not sure what they have done, but I couldn’t help over hearing you. What you are saying to these people isn’t any better than what you’re doing. If you sincerely wanted them to be better citizens and people, be an example and not a #!@$#$…

I might have continued for a while longer. But afterwards, I felt really good about myself and having put that lady in her place. She had been speechless after my interruption, gave me a death stare, before picking up her belongings and huffed out of the cafe.

I too made my way out of the cafe and realized that the most bottom floor of the mall had been flooded with water. It must’ve been pouring with rain on the outside. I was worried that I would lose my friends in the mass of people. So I rushed downstairs to see if I can catch up to them. I saw people paddling in small rowboats down the flooded streets. It was a rather strange sight, but I didn’t really have time to ponder why. As I turned a corner, I had finally found my friends. They were dressed like Janitors and were cleaning up the indoors of some kind of store while singing and acting like clowns. I found it hilarious though. The way they danced, the way they acted, I began laughing hysterically.

It was right then that my subconscious caught myself and questioned, “Hang on… why are you laughing? Why are you happy? This can’t be real.” And then I instantly woke up, lying back in my bed.