Modern family dinners

I’m used to it now. Working away from home means that dining usually takes place alone. It’s just easier and more convenient this way. Besides, I’m a bit short of friends in this place. But that’s another story.

When I do dine by myself, I take notice of the occupants around me. The usual stereotypes are normally all there. There’s the new lovey dovey cute couples, there are the we’ve been dating for a few years and things are kinda boring and it’s more efficient if we just communicate with each other through our phones couple, there’s the Mum who is by herself looking after the kid/kids who are yelling, screaming, screeching, and running about, there’s the happy new family with the first born toddler with the mummy and daddy, and lastly there’s the long married couple that are just dining together outside because their kids have all grown up and moved away. I’ve seen all types really and am basically just used to it all.

It was earlier tonight though that I was dining at a small dinner cafe where I saw a family. There was a mother and a father with two kids. A boy and a girl who looked to be around 5 and 4 respectively. It was only when I carefully observed them that the scene before me was just breaking my heart.

Picture this. The Dad is only his smart phone swiping away. The Mum us also on her phone swiping away. One kid was just staring at the wall beside her in blank stare, and the boy was slowly chewing away his food staring blankly forward. This continued for at least another 5min before the mother spoke something while still focused on her phone without lifting her head. I don’t think her husband made any gesture of acknowledgement, but continued to use his phone. It was in the kids faces though. They looked like they were obedient at such a young age, but there was no joy in them though. The expressions they had were like they are just sitting there drifting through life… eating what’s in front of them only because their parents had said so.

After both the kids had put down their utensils, they sat there for another 5 minutes before the mother put down her phone and asked, all finished? The kids nodded politely. The wife then motioned over to the husband that they should leave. He didn’t look up but got up while still using his phone and only put it away after he quickly finish with what he was fiddling with. The family followed quietly after they gathered their belongings and left the cafe.

I know that it’s not fair to judge from an outside perspective. But just observing on what I saw, I vow to myself that I would end up like this family that I saw before me. Because of the convenience of technology, it is to blame here in this situation I believe. A family dinner outside should be a joyous and interactive event. Okay, it might not need to be joyous, but it is a chance for the family to interact at some level. But because of smart phones, it felt more like a disconnect with what should be more important. Family right?

Maybe they’re just tired. Maybe they’re busy trying to finish work, or communicate important business messages. Whatever the case though… what I witnessed tonight, I will try to make sure that that would not be a reflection of what will become.

What to expect in 2016 for me…

First post of 2016. Things had started off pretty chilled, but I have a feeling that this year will bring about a change for the better. (Just a feeling).

2015 for me went by so fast. I put so much focus on my work. In this year, I learnt so much, but if I honestly reflected back, it was mostly just work. All work and no play makes a pretty dull year. Something I hope to change this year I think. Technically speaking, I’m doing pretty well at the workplace, but sometimes I still feel it just isn’t enough. I feel like I can actually do more. A couple of nights ago, I thought back and reflected on where I am right now. It’s strange though. I am in a pretty comfortable state, but I wasn’t content. I asked myself, what am I actually doing? I must be going wrong somewhere, why else am I still not content? I achieved most of my NYR last year which was better than most of the previous years. And still I think there are still plenty room for improvement.

I think one of the things I am going to work on this year to to try and get involved in more activities and hopefully meet more new people and possibly new friends. I’m finding it’s much harder to make honest friends nowadays. I think as people get older, they get much lazier. I feel the same way actually.  Meeting new people and building a proper relationship actually takes effort. So much work for something that might not be long-term is kinda a waste of time. But really, I’m not doing anything much with it other than spending it on work anyways. So whats the harm.

One thing I need to work on though is to keep at it. That laziness seeps in too easily. Argh! Definitely need to keep it at bay. It’s the bane of my own self-improvement. So I decided, this will be something I will work on this year, and hopefully my efforts will pay off.

Wish me luck.

Thanks,

Dafuq!?!? On the bus back.

Tonight, on the way back to my apartment I was taking the bus. I was just staring out the window when I noticed that there was a couple sitting in the opposite side of the seat from the reflection on the window. Normally I do not really take notice of the other passengers, but this time it was so bizarre.

The female, it seems, was trying to tell her boyfriend about how her day went and about what happened at work. The guy was just staring forward with a bored expression. It didn’t seemed like the girl minded as she continued persistently detailing about every little thing that happened. After about a minute, she leaned in more into the guy while looking at his face and continued talking. Without being interrupted, the guy turned around to face her and with one hand he began probing, groping, rubbing, slapping, nabbing, poking , and fiddling with the girls face, chin and cheeks.

Wide eyes staring at the reflection, I was just watching the most bizarre couple situation unfold out in public. What shocked me was that she didn’t stop or react to any thing her “apparent” boyfriend was doing. The guy was literally treating her face like a play-dough. And still she continued to talk to him about her day. Honestly, I would’ve been less shocked if they started banging right there on the bus.

I really do not understand some of the girls here…. I would’ve just punched the guy in the face…

Outside In…

*** WARNING Will be going into some of the plot of Inside Out – Pixar movie.***

When I first saw the trailer for Inside Out like last year, I knew I wanted to watch this movie. It wasn’t so much that the trailer was interesting or appealing. I was just intrigued at how they would actually create a whole movie about a person’s personality.

Now that it’s finally out, I took a chance to go watch it from beginning to end. I must say that the story line was nothing I had imagined. If I knew that they were going down the emotional pathway, I would’ve better prepared myself. But then again, I guess I wasn’t using my brain. C’mon right… we’re talking about personality traits in the mind. Of course there will be emotions.

Before the movie even started, I knew the main characters of the movie. There was Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger. My first thoughts were 1) why was there only 1 positive emotion compared to the other 4 more “negative” emotions? 2) Disgust? Of all the other emotions I can think of (such as love, envy/jealousy, happiness, wonder, nervousness, happy) to name a few, why would they pick Disgust as a main character? 3) I can’t exactly imagine the story of the movie going anywhere out of the ordinary. Maybe some comedy, some music, something touching, some conflict etc. etc. Actually, for those people that have seen this movie and the movie “Cloudy with a chance of meatballs”, I had actually pictured it to be something between that and the ending tidbit of this movie. The bits of the camera going into all the different character’s mind and their personality that controls them.

Yeah, so anyways… at the beginning, I thought that Joy had a really hard time. She had a lot of things to deal with, and basically everyone relied on her mostly as Joy describes it — having happy memories leads to a happy day, which leads to a happy week, to a happy month, to a happy year, to a happy life. This is what I believe what everyone’s purest mantra at their core. To live a happy life right?

And then there was sadness. As if the movie was reading my mind right there and then, she was indeed annoying. Everything about her was negative, and yet you cannot remove her. She was just always there. And Sadness would just touch the joyful memories out of her own will. When she kept doing that, I too felt annoyed as Joy wondering why she kept touching it when she had been repeatedly told not to. Sadness replied “I know that, but I just can’t help it.” This resonated with me a bit. It’s true. Even when I’m telling my mind that I want to be happy, I need to be happy, I choose to be happy, sadness was always there in the corner no matter what. In the first half hour, you can see how hard Joy is trying to keep Sadness at bay.

That is where the real story begins. Where Joy and Sadness find themselves lost and stuck outside of their control tower. They try their best to get Joy back as soon as possible… cause as you know, without Joy, the person cannot be happy. In their endeavor, Joy and Sadness workout their differences and really learn to respect each other.

There were bits of humor in there, to me personally, there were many emotional hidden messages in the story and their actions. I think the movie did a really great job also at trying to appeal to more mature audience as well as making it suitable for a fun and quirky movie for kids. I also like the ending and how they resolved the entire situation.

By the end of the movie, I was satisfied that all 3 of my early questions could be sated and explained in the movie. Disgust really is a main character also… Hah!

My rating for this movie is a 10/10. Trust me… this is rare for me.

Thoughts for James 8/31

Dear James,

I’m really tired and drained. You know that I have tried my best. And even though that it’s all I can ask of myself, it still is not enough. I’ve been through many difficulties in the past. No matter the result, I have always came out stronger. I used to think that this is a good thing. Being stronger means that I can deal with more things better. But I don’t believe getting stronger is getting me anywhere anymore. It’s kinda like gathering materials needed to build a super-yacht or something. Bigger, better, and more rigged to ride the rough waves. The thing is… maybe all I want is to drift upstream a river.

Do I really need such a big boat?

New Hobbies

I really need to find some new hobbies. Any of the usual things I do lately, I get bored really easily. Things that did entertain me for a while, take my iPad for example, feels so empty. I pick it up… look at it… click on an app button, takes 10s to load, and the next thing I know I’m closing the flap and putting it down.

Need to find something else to fill that emptiness…

First update in 2015

Hey Guys,

Looks like it’s the first post here for 2015. I haven’t really had much time to … “daydream”? If that’s what you would call it. Gotta get my inspiration from somewhere right? The reason behind the absence however, is that I’ve just been so busy with work. Every day it feels like work, then bed, work, then bed. And almost nothing in between apart from eating.

Groundhogs day!

But it’s not like before as I do like my job and enjoy what I do. That difference between liking what you do and not liking it but having to still put in the long hours is just immensely different. But still, if one can help it, it would be better if they do not need to spend so long on their work.

I wanted to do a new year’s resolution thing earlier this year. But I’ve been really busy with work since October last year. It hasn’t really cooled down till about now. Just a bit surprised I guess. It doesn’t matter where you go, there will always be complicated and annoying issues that we have to deal with. Guess that’s what I signed up for when I accepted this job anyways.

Being in a totally different industry allows me to experience things I never actually thought of before and it gives me a chance to learn an abundance of new things… which I might at is quite interesting, just that I never really had any real interest in it before.

Anyways, that’s just a brief update about how things are for me… I really would like to write about other things or thoughts. So for now, I will leave it here.

Still alive guys!