Posts Tagged ‘ Family ’

Modern family dinners

I’m used to it now. Working away from home means that dining usually takes place alone. It’s just easier and more convenient this way. Besides, I’m a bit short of friends in this place. But that’s another story.

When I do dine by myself, I take notice of the occupants around me. The usual stereotypes are normally all there. There’s the new lovey dovey cute couples, there are the we’ve been dating for a few years and things are kinda boring and it’s more efficient if we just communicate with each other through our phones couple, there’s the Mum who is by herself looking after the kid/kids who are yelling, screaming, screeching, and running about, there’s the happy new family with the first born toddler with the mummy and daddy, and lastly there’s the long married couple that are just dining together outside because their kids have all grown up and moved away. I’ve seen all types really and am basically just used to it all.

It was earlier tonight though that I was dining at a small dinner cafe where I saw a family. There was a mother and a father with two kids. A boy and a girl who looked to be around 5 and 4 respectively. It was only when I carefully observed them that the scene before me was just breaking my heart.

Picture this. The Dad is only his smart phone swiping away. The Mum us also on her phone swiping away. One kid was just staring at the wall beside her in blank stare, and the boy was slowly chewing away his food staring blankly forward. This continued for at least another 5min before the mother spoke something while still focused on her phone without lifting her head. I don’t think her husband made any gesture of acknowledgement, but continued to use his phone. It was in the kids faces though. They looked like they were obedient at such a young age, but there was no joy in them though. The expressions they had were like they are just sitting there drifting through life… eating what’s in front of them only because their parents had said so.

After both the kids had put down their utensils, they sat there for another 5 minutes before the mother put down her phone and asked, all finished? The kids nodded politely. The wife then motioned over to the husband that they should leave. He didn’t look up but got up while still using his phone and only put it away after he quickly finish with what he was fiddling with. The family followed quietly after they gathered their belongings and left the cafe.

I know that it’s not fair to judge from an outside perspective. But just observing on what I saw, I vow to myself that I wouldn’t end up like this family that I saw before me. Because of the convenience of technology, it is easy to blame this situation. A family dinner outside should be a joyous and interactive event. Okay, it might not need to be joyous, but it is a chance for the family to interact at some level. But because of smart phones, it felt more like a disconnect with what should be more important. Family right?

Maybe they’re just tired. Maybe they’re busy trying to finish work, or communicate important business messages. Whatever the case though… what I witnessed tonight, I will try to make sure that that would not be a reflection of what will become.

Hey Uncle…

For people who have large families, it happens sometimes that you may have an uncle or an aunt who is a decade or two, younger or older. Some people may not have met their elder-descent relatives because they have not been born or have already passed away. These people… will not understand how I feel or what I’m talking about when I’m in my ripe young age of roughly my late twenties.

Many of my friends and colleagues are also around my age. However, many of them are already married and some of them have kids. Not just babies… but toddlers, pre-schoolers, and some primary schoolers’ even. In the Asian culture, it is considered polite to have the kids acknowledge their elders when they meet. So when catching up with with one of them one time they ask their kids to call me uncle

OK now… hold up!!! I gotta put a large pause button on the whole situation before we go any further. My mind does a double-take the very first time. Did I just hear the ‘U’ – word used on me?

In my heart and in my mind… I still feel like I’m still fresh out from Uni. I take a look into the mirror and I see I still look the same, maybe not as flimsy as before, but still roughly the same. My friends agree as well.

I protest! I say to them, “Hey look here, I’m not that old. Just elder brother is fine… No need going on further to the level of uncle, okay?” However, they replied something of the similar. “Well you ARE an uncle to them. You’re roughly a couple of decades older. So if saying that you’re just an elder brother really doesn’t cut it anymore. Do you still call your relatives and friends who are in their forties and fifties now, ‘brother’ or you call them uncle?”

Point taken… and I absolutely got shot down. So yeah… lets face it… we’re now all aunties and uncles. Reminder to self, I gotta stop using that word on other people now… or else it’ll make them even older… lol… I forget my age sometimes to be honest. Maybe that too is a sign of age.

MIA again…

Wow… And just wow…

It’s been so long since I’ve typed anything in here… It’s like I’ve almost forgotten… But I haven’t …

Many times I have been wanting to type in here, but when I open the screen, I’d forget what it is that I had wanted to share… And typing something not worth reading is both a waste of your time and mine… Right?

Anyhow, so many things have changed… But I will tell you guys more about that sometime in the near future. But just a quick update about the last couple of months… Thing was, my parents and my bro came back here to visit… And they only just left a couple of weeks ago. It’s been like… what… 4 years I think… since my immediate family have come together. We have seen each other over the years, but never as a group of four. Surprisingly, it’s either just my parents and me, or me and my bro, or my parents and my bro. And when I reflect back, somehow four years had just blinked by so fast.  So yeah, it was a nice little reunion for a couple of months. We went out a bit…but mostly we just chilled in our home town of fengyuan. I took them to the place where I used to work, and they commented on how I’m a lot more local than them now… Considering they did grow up here. Haha…

I think as we slowly move through our lives, we have less and less time to spend with people who we previously take for granted. Not that we want it to be so, but it just gets more difficult to have everyone’s time of availability to coincide with each other. ‘It’s just life…’ as most people would say… But I see it as something that becomes more valuable which is why you would have to kinda make time for.

Anyways, regardless of the past events, it’s now time to continue to trudge along the road called life… Heh

Oh yeah, I wanted to also say… I know the new years has already past. Because I didn’t attend anything for new years this time around, I forgot to make this years new year resolutions. >.<

Surprisingly, when I looked back to the ones I made last year, I actually hit my mark for most of them. By comparison to not getting any of the ones I had set for the last ummm… Maybe four to five years. That’s actually saying a lot … Well to myself anyways. But it only really matters to me too though. I want to make some for me to focus on this year, but I can’t seem to force myself to sit down to think about them, strangely. It’s kinda like since I have the ball rolling now, it’s difficult to had more hoops to juggle with. But I know I can do it… I just need to stay focused, even though it gets pretty lonely at times. Whilst I’m on this topic, now that I’m slowly getting used to the environment here, even though this is the opposite effect, I feel like it’ll be a very long time before I can feel comfortable with a special someone. I think my gran has also given up on me finding someone anytime soon… Cause she doesn’t nag about it to me anymore… Haha… But it just feels… I dunno… There’s just no spark, or that special something if you know what I mean. Mmm… Maybe it’s just me being subconsciously picky… But right now, I just don’t feel it.               Actually, it’s probably just me getting old and boring… now as an afterthought.  Meh!

I think I should finish it about here. I shouldn’t make these too long… I will leave a few thoughts to finish…

1) I envy people who can lie on their bed, and just instantly fall asleep.

2) Androids are hard to use!

3) sometimes when I look like I’m staring out into nothingness, I am actually in fact wishing I can take a bite of an old school NZ mince and cheese pie.