Posts Tagged ‘ Relationships ’

Coffee Talks @5pm

Being after CNY, today had been a really slow day at work. There was just a tinge of “I just don’t feel like being here” kinda vibe today at the office. Which was why I asked a colleague to have coffee with me.

Sheryl has been really special to me ever since I had the opportunity to get to know her. She’s one of the few people that I know who would say “OMG, I’m so glad the holidays are over. I can’t wait to get back to work. I miss the office so much…” hahaha~~~ But that’s story for another time.

Other than our usual talks, she was talking to me about relationships and marriage this time round. She was telling me that things were smooth sailing in her relationship with her husband up until after her marriage. I am always positive in my belief of relationships, and I reply that it takes a long time to truly get to know someone, so people shouldn’t rush into marriage. She counters me by saying that many things are just different afterwards that people cannot plan for. I can’t really pretend to understand what it is like from her position cause I’ve never actually been in that situation, so I politely nod.

I told her that the relationship that I believe in is one where both parties try to find compromises with each other, because not everyone is perfectly made for each other and that’s what needs to be considered if a relationship is to carry on forward. So I said, “it doesn’t really work if only one of the party is making compromises for the other and while the other does nothing to change.”  She looked me in the eyes and replied, “but that’s exactly what love is. You love the other for who they are regardless if they feel like they want to change or not…”

She had me there. Cause I also believe that too. Maybe I need to rethink my take on all of this…

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Dafuq!?!? On the bus back.

Tonight, on the way back to my apartment I was taking the bus. I was just staring out the window when I noticed that there was a couple sitting in the opposite side of the seat from the reflection on the window. Normally I do not really take notice of the other passengers, but this time it was so bizarre.

The female, it seems, was trying to tell her boyfriend about how her day went and about what happened at work. The guy was just staring forward with a bored expression. It didn’t seemed like the girl minded as she continued persistently detailing about every little thing that happened. After about a minute, she leaned in more into the guy while looking at his face and continued talking. Without being interrupted, the guy turned around to face her and with one hand he began probing, groping, rubbing, slapping, nabbing, poking , and fiddling with the girls face, chin and cheeks.

Wide eyes staring at the reflection, I was just watching the most bizarre couple situation unfold out in public. What shocked me was that she didn’t stop or react to any thing her “apparent” boyfriend was doing. The guy was literally treating her face like a play-dough. And still she continued to talk to him about her day. Honestly, I would’ve been less shocked if they started banging right there on the bus.

I really do not understand some of the girls here…. I would’ve just punched the guy in the face…

Pre-discharge mood…

Before this date actually happens, I would like to share some of my thoughts and feelings here…

For a ceremonious date which I had been looking forward to all year, I am currently not feeling all too happy about it. To me, this makes no logical sense but yet I understand why. I had been all to eager to finally be rid of this place. I mean c’mon… A whole year! I have been waiting for that very day. But in that time… things have changed.

I’ve made many new friends, I’ve made an undesirable place feel comfortable, I’ve struggled through many challenges one after another and my accomplishments further signifies my efforts. I believe change is good. It is always good to see things changing for the better. But because of all that has happened, I have some real mix feelings about it all.

For some newly made friends, I wish it would last longer. I know they will not just ‘disappear’ … but it wont ever be the same as it was. I’ve experienced similar situations in the past. In our attempt to overcome these challenges, we had have some good times, hefty laughs, and great food.

Time that’s been has felt both fast and slow, now that I think back. Guess I did make my time worthwhile. Am proud of myself for that. I’ve learnt so much here and I really appreciate all that has helped me along the way. I wont forget… even the small things.

As I stare blankly out into nothingness… daydreaming… my junior begins to remind me… ‘stop sighing!!!’

Can’t help it dude… natural reaction…

Where are all the Mr Rights???

Generally, this question is asked by many female counter-parts.
Whether they’ve been hurt, their hearts broken, their BFF’s mistreated, etc.  men are the pricks. There are no ifs, buts, or maybes. The fact that they can treat woman to the point where they are made to feel like their entire world had just been burnt to a crisp, then pissed in the ashes, and finally spat on top of the pile just to make finishing touches make men the most despicable creatures on Earth and in Hell. They are so crude and heartless, demons and flaming hound-dogs look like little fluffy bats and puppies with huge eyes and cute little smiles.

Woman ask themselves, ‘why am I such a fool’? ‘Why would I let some jackass into my life, play with my heart, and then kindly allow them to stamp on it until it’s stopped beating?’ Seriously, why can’t I find some good-looking guy who is chivalrous, friendly, and humourous like in the movies, or like my good friend Jill, or like my cousin May… etc. (you get the point) It is like, you hear these amazing stories of beautiful and romantic couples, you look around and they seem like they are everywhere… but why is it that you only meet douchebags or their close cousins, assholes.

I wouldn’t say I hear this often, but it still seem’s that this issue is prevalent in many cases. I’m not writing this post to offer woman an alternative perception on men. No. Of course not. I too see and hear it happen often. There are many guys out there who I absolutely consider do not qualify to hold relationships yet they’re the kinds of guys that are able to get the girls the easiest. I don’t understand the logic. (Being a logical person that I am.) The girls get into relationships with those kind of guys, and basically the audience sit back and watch the train wreck happen. Sometimes, close friends and family will throw popcorn and yell remarks at the screen… but sadly, we all can foresee the climax and finale. Rarely does the cool bad wolf go through a life-changing experience and then becomes the Prince Charming you may be waiting for. But these cases are RARE!!!

If I can help it, I wouldn’t want to see any of my close relatives or friends to go through those kinds of experience. So I too will shake my fists up towards the heavens and ask, ‘Where are all the Mr Rights? Where…?’
I don’t believe that it’s a matter of them not existing. I know they’re out there. I’ve met many cool, handsome guys before (who might I add were/are single) and yet, I don’t see woman hanging off of their arms and legs wherever they go. It is strange isn’t it. It’s like the girl goes out into the car markets and asks for Buick’s and Rolls Royce, then settling to buy some random car which had sparked their interest on the spot. I don’t know… sorry… I’m pretty crap at giving analogies as you can see… but my point is… why is it that they always pick the pricks, when you can smell them a mile away, then grieve afterwards. That’s a one way road to disaster.  

I am a firm believer of going to restaurants. What I mean by this is, if you want Mexican, go to a Mexican restaurant. If you want to eat Chinese food, then go to a Chinese restaurant. Okay, these are bad examples. I don’t mean to separate it by races as well. Hmm… put it this way… if you like to go swimming, then go to the swimming pools. If you like reading, then go to your local library. Sounds logical?

I know it’s not easy meeting the right person. Ultimately, it really depends on fate, luck, opportunity, locality. But basically, surround yourself with the kinds of people you like to be with. And also, you may need a lil nudge to get the boulder down the cliff.

Good luck people, and may the force be with you…

Age differences…

When I was back in primary school, I remember being in the same class as a third grader with other fellow fourth grader. Just having a year of schooling made a world of differences. The fact that they were older by “a whole year” meant that they practically knew more than me by a whole kajillion years. Well… that’s what it had seemed even if they were being dicks about everything. So generally, I mostly made friends with fellow third graders back then. It was generally the trend and I continued to make friends with people who were the same age, and actually felt closer with them as well as being able to relate a lot more than I could with the other kids that were a year older/younger than me. Through high school, it had felt like as I gained a year in school, I somehow also gained an internal sense of power and pride over the lesser years and there would be less shadows to watch out for as the seniors graduated year by year.

It had been like that till I reached University where I found that I could actually relate with other people who were either a couple of years plus/minus my own age now. I lost the sense of being categorised via years and found something that followed more closely to what you were actually interested in. I found most people who were 3+ years difference harder to connect with. There seemed to be more of a generation gap between us and it was just harder to “bond” with them. For the younger generation, it felt like they had all just jumped out of high school and had all these new themes and fads that they expected people to know. Things had varied from music, food, fashion, brands… none of which I had followed. And on the other end of the spectrum, were people who have been working for a while in the work  force and have these ‘at times’ gloomy outlook on various topics as well as being highly political and opinionated about various news and world-wide topics as well as money and economy.

I’m not exactly sure what has changed, or the exact point in time where the age perception paradigm in my head had altered and shifted, but more recently, I’ve made a few friends who are 5-10 year + or – my age, and feel that I could get along with them perfectly fine. Is it because my age tolerance has begun loosening over time? Or maybe it is because I know more about this world and am able relate to a wider spectrum of people? But because of this, I can slowly understand something that had been boggling my mind since childhood. Ever since I understood the concept of marriage, I could not understand the reasons behind why people would get married with ridiculous age differences. I could only imagine two main reasons. Either that the other half was horrendously rich or that they had found their “soul mate” which happened to not have been born in the same generation… Meh… To each their own.

But I have come to realise, sometimes there really is much more in the building of relationships as well as the kinds of things that can make people click together. Like Lego pieces and jigsaw puzzles, when they fit, it just feels totally right… no matter how odd their shapes and colours are. When they’re right… it’s totally tight!!! Yeah… (Cheesy, I know…) But this also has allowed me to understand how parents and offsprings can get closer or fall apart to/from each other as they grow up and understand more about each other. Sometimes, things like relationships, in any shape and form either feels right or not right. It can’t be forced. It just happens. It can be built, and it can also be destroyed. But I say this now, age is a relative concept. Just because someone is older/younger than you, does not mean that they have more or less experience than you, that they understand more or less than you, that they feel same or different from you. In this world, some people just love chocolate ice cream, some like vanilla, and some like strawberry ice cream. But that doesn’t mean people can’t like Hokey Pokey too… =P